So Rude!: Being a Foreigner in Japan

This is an assignment from Behind the Mask, which is about minority groups within Japan. This is my response to being a foreigner in Japan.

On the third floor of Izumiya, a local supermarket, I noticed two saleswomen staring at my shopping cart with disdain. Looking down, I saw what was shocking them. There I was in the women’s clothing section with a basket full of strawberries, cheese, and butter. Before that moment, it had not even occurred to me that it was inappropriate to take goods from the supermarket up to the other floors. I could not read any of the signs that might have indicated such a taboo, so there I was, on the third floor, wishing I knew how to say “I’m sorry,” but instead only managing to return a look of attempted apology. I was in the wrong, I was the rude one, but of course the only reason I knew that was because I realized my own mistake. Because of tattemae, the two women would never have told me how wrong I was, but instead simply continued to be frustrated by the rudeness of Americans. Being a foreigner here in Japan has made me feel rude on more than one occasion, but it has also made me wonder if the Japanese practice of politeness is what prolongs the rudeness of visiting foreigners. I still only suspect that my actions in Izumiya were rude, but no one has told me not to do it again. In fact, no one here in Japan has corrected my rudeness, but instead other foreigners, other gaijin who have certainly learned from those who came before. It is not the practice of the Japanese to comment on the inappropriate actions of foreigners or to correct their ignorance of tradition. For instance, my first financial transaction consisted of paying my proprietor my rent. Rather than expressing dismay at my lack of giving her the money in an envelope, she simply took it with an arigato and probably continued back to her house thinking that I am another rude American.

Now, I should state here that I would prefer to not be rude, but I am finding it very difficult in a country where so many of their traditions are to be carried out without more than perhaps a visual cue, such as other pairs of shoes next to the doorway. When one visits the U.S., there are countless signs informing foreigners of the dos and don’ts of most public areas such as malls and beaches. Here in Japan, I feel like I constantly make mistakes that I did not realize I was making until after the fact. Yet perhaps I am wrong to assume that the Japanese should be informing me of what is proper and improper. Perhaps it is the responsibility of a foreign traveler to research all of the proper and expected conduct of each country that they plan on visiting prior to boarding the plane, so as to not make countless mistakes once in the country. Yet, with so many of these taboos unspoken, I am not sure that even the National Geographic Travel Guide to Japan would have listed all of the things I would be confronted with in my first two weeks in this country. Yet, perhaps my rudeness is more pleasing to the residents of Japan than would be my complete understanding and compliance with all of the rules. In a country where foreigners are known as gaijin, literally “outside person,” the Japanese seem to enjoy being able to be in a class different from that of those who are not from Japan. I wonder if the reason that the Japanese are so quiet about many of their rules is because they do not actually want foreigners to be able to participate fully in Japanese culture. Yet even if this were true, I am not sure that any nation truly wishes its visitors to be rude.

So then, I have come to the conflict of how to obey a list of unwritten rules. I do not know how to stop being rude when no one will correct my mistakes. It seems that the only way for a foreigner to learn how to obey the traditions of a culture is observation. In Japan, this observation cannot be simply watching the reactions of persons around oneself to ones actions. Tattemae prevents, in many cases, a true reaction. For instance, it would have been inappropriate of the sales women in the store to correct me, as I was a customer. This observation must be instead towards those other people around you who are performing the same activity. So, in the supermarket, one must closely watch the actions of the other shoppers to discoverer the proper places one is allowed to take a cart. At the check out, it is important to watch where the person ahead of you places his or her money, and to do the same. In temples, one must watch the native visitors to know the appropriate etiquette to follow. Yet even with this pattern of attempted mimicry, I am not sure that I could, even were I more alike in coloring, assimilate into the Japanese way of life. Yet being a foreigner in Japan makes me wonder if my obvious ignorance and sometimes rude behavior is exactly what the Japanese expect and prefer in gaijin.